SENDING SIGNALS!

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Marketing: Learn To Listen!

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Most people love to speak and to tell stories. Yet, many of us are so busy monopolizing a conversation that we don't take the time to:

1) Listen to our vendors, customers, clients, contacts, competitors, team mates, employees and colleagues;

2) Let these potentially important people educate us by our listening to what they have to say and focusing on it with full attention;

3) Read their critical non-verbal communication, body language and microexpressions in order to see how they are reacting to us, or to determine how they feel about what we've said;

4) Let people vent until the hostility goes away, reason returns and fatigue sets in;

5) Ask them how they feel or what they think about something [letting them be our experts and advisors -- at least to their perception];

6) Thank them for speaking to you, and for informing you of something which you hadn't realized before;

7) Nod our heads in either the affirmative or in the negative to make it obvious that we are listening, absorbing, involved, evaluating and confirming our agreement (if we do, in fact agree) with what is being said, either in whole or part.

Followers of The Sending Signals Blog must realize that signals are sent and received, but a diatribe or a lecture does not create an important dialog -- an important bridge is built and strengthened when we act as good receivers of the signals sent by others.

As you may already know every storyteller loves a 'good listener'. Your company will be cherished if you learn how to listen with focus, acknowledgement and respect for the communicator across the canyon from you.

You've heard it said many times before -- "He/She is a great listener!"

Be that great listener. Cultivate your listening skills. More people will want to speak with you -- but ironically, more people will willingly listen to you.... especially if you are addressing their issues or answering their questions. From the standpoint of behavioral psychology, these people will feel more important and gratified. You will get more cooperation.

As the image at the top of this article implies "We build too many walls and not enough bridges." Fail to listen, and you'll build half of a bridge

Thank you for reading me, and for retweeting and otherwise sharing these articles with your colleagues, friends and connections throughout your social media platforms, forums and clubs.

Douglas E. Castle

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communication, marketing, customer satisfaction, listening, learning, attentiveness, showing respect, being a good conversationalist, focus, two-way conversations, being a good listener, defusing anger, venting, advice, saying thank you, useful input, Customer Experience Management, marketing, selling, leading, being accessible, interpersonal relationships, diplomacy, The Sending Signals Blog, Douglas E. Castle, The CFI Group Of Companies, non-verbal communication, microexpressions, body language,

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Saturday, September 29, 2012

Speak Like A Diplomat - It's Great For Business And For Life, In General.

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Speaking like a diplomat is the key to unlock the door to communicating with virtually anyone. Diplomatic speech requires empathy, patience, and careful word choices. Speaking like a diplomat instead of a "typical" person is similar to the difference between being a statesman and being a mere politician.

Let me provide you with an example, and you (undoubtedly an intelligent reader of The Sending Signals Blog) can generalize or extrapolate from this one illustration. I have great faith in you.

If someone says something which you strongly disagree with, but you wish to continue the conversation and the relationship, both of which are important:

1) The lout would say, "That's ridiculous! You don't know what you're talking about!"

2) The slightly better-schooled person might say, "I just don't see how you could feel that way." [This is a bit kinder, but not quite diplomatic speech]

3) The DIPLOMAT would say, "That's an interesting point of view, and I can see how very strongly you feel about it. Would you care to elaborate? I'd like for you to tell me more."

The diplomatic keys are:

1) Never to tell the other person that you think he or she is wrong, or ill-informed;

2) To be interested in learning more about his or her point of view;

3) To give your conversational companion a chance to elaborate and to speak further. Invite your companion to speak at greater length, and make it obvious that you are a willing audience, eager to learn more from this "incidental teacher."

This particular approach gratifies your companion's ego; shows respect for your companion's point of view; and it puts him or her in a professorial role, opening the door for continued conversation, and an opportunity for further and deeper engagement. If you're a real pro, you can slowly and subtly bring your companion around your point of view and have him or her think that he or she has simply re-evaluated his or her position and changed his or her viewpoint.

And ironically, of course, the more you merely steer your companion's speech with questions instead of opposing opinions, the more delightful a conversationalist your companion will think that you are. Add some continuous eye-contact and occasional head nodding, and your companion will think that you're a genius!

Try it. You'll very possibly want to make it a habit.

Douglas E. Castle