SENDING SIGNALS!

Monday, September 05, 2011

Humor: Social Lubricant And Deal-Maker

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I have a sense of humor. It has literally saved my life (but not my sanity) on occasion.

You see, a genuine smile tends to be disarming and relaxes those around you -- it impulsively makes them more accepting of you, and more receptive to what you are about to say. A sense of humor, especially a slightly self-deprecating one, is thoroughly disarming, especially in a tense communication or negotiation of any sort. It breaks stalemates, banishes negative energies, and allows almost any subject to be re-framed. People crave comedic relief.

While you must be sensitive to the nature of your audience, the circumstances, and some cultural or other occasionally thorny issues, a bit of humor can transform an awkward moment into an interpersonal bonding opportunity.

One rule, generally speaking (and I violate this one too much of the time) -- don't make any other person, or that person's lifestyle, beliefs, or orientation, the subject of a joke. That is a high-risk proposition. The only safe subject is truly yourself. Never, ever take a chance of inadvertently insulting someone else.

Humor, applied judiciously, is a stress-reducer, a re-energizer, a creativity booster and an accelerant to achievement. It brings people closer together, opens a secondary "shadow dialogue" and a richer personal understanding and flexibility between us; and it gives us a chance at "refreshing" our signal.

Douglas E Castle

http://aboutDouglasCastle.blogspot.com
http://TakingCommand.blogspot.com
http://TheInternationalistPage.blogspot.com
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Thursday, September 01, 2011

Pace Your Speech! --> S-L-O-W D-O-W-N...

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The average individual speaks fairly rapidly to his or her colleagues, friends and family members. Some of us are habitually prone to speaking quite rapidly, and our audience might often miss a significant portion of the message which we are attempting to communicate -- they will either ask us 1) to slow down; or 2) to repeat what we've said (but at an audible frequency); in the worst case, they may either disregard our rushed communication (as it entails too much effort to follow it), or they may politely listen without telling us that they didn't capture some content.

To make matters worse, when we are very excited, angry or fearful, we naturally tend to accelerate the number of words we spout out per minute, and our voices tend to hit the higher side of our range of pitch (imagine an Irish tenor singing "O' Danny Boy," or a college fraternity party where, after inhaling helium from balloons, the members of the crew take turns speaking like munchkins, tittering and giggling the whole time), which tends to make us sound 1) less in control, and 2) less important.

When you are going to be speaking to an individual, a small group or the entire Press Corps, be certain to counterbalance that natural propensity to speak faster and higher by:

Pausing for breath, and minding posture prior to speaking - ramrod straight and in command;
Making eye contact with each person in the group by sweeping over them with your gaze - tacitly getting their attention and respect;
Taking great care to carefully and clearly enunciate each word, and speak clearly;
Consciously keeping the pitch of your voice as deep and resonant as possible;
Be fairly loud, but do not get frustrated and shout.

In a crisis, or under emotional pressure, you must send your signals slowly, clearly, resonantly and with the proper "gravity."

We are best in control of our audience, when it seems that we are totally in control of ourselves and the situation which confronts us.

Douglas E Castle

[http://aboutDouglasCastle.blogspot.com]
[http://SendingSignals.blogspot.com]
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