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Thursday, May 10, 2012

Using "Agents Of Introduction" Optimally - Reducing 1 Degree Of Separation To 0 Degrees Of Separation.

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Say that you are on a quest to raise capital, get an audition with an impressario, get a job, or, in general to access a third party who has something (or who has the discretionary or signatory power over something which you want or need).

Way that you do not personally know that third party, but you know a second party, personally, who is friendly with that third party. That puts you at one degree of separation from your communications target, and puts your friend at zero degrees of separation from your target. Your friend is the logical strategic communications liaison, or the AGENT OF INTRODUCTION between you and the person to whom you wish access. If this is done properly, it effectively eliminates a great deal of credibility issues, defensiveness, distractedness and other obstacles that would normally be otherwise associated with meeting a relative stranger.

An introduction or endorsement by your friend of you to the third party in the form of a perfunctory telephone call or a fast email is generally useless. Even having your friend talk about your or your proposition to the third party is terribly feeble.

The proper way to recruit and deploy and Agent Of Introduction is to arrange to have either a formally-scheduled (to invoke feelings of anticipation and seriousness) three-way teleconference, virtual web conference or an in-person meeting comprised of you, your friend and the third party.

Done properly, this gives you the optimal positioning with the third party, to communicate your message or to propose the arrangement in which you are interested. The crucial communications elements of focus, dedication, credibility, adequate time, implicit endorsement and rapid familiarity are all all there to make you communication that much more effective.

Someone who sends an email introducing you to a third party and suggesting that the two of you should meet (even giving each of you the others' communication coordinates and inviting you each to 'get in touch' with the other) has wasted an email, and possibly created a spambox item. The invariable outcome of these remote, "hands-off" introductions is unproductive.

Use an Agent Of Introduction as an active component in your messaging and communications to optimize the effectiveness of a 1 degree of separation relationship.

Douglas E. Castle for The Sending Signals Blog

p.s. Please do follow us on Twitter at http://twitter.com/Sending_Signals

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Loneliness Lifestyle: A Trend With Inescapable Consequences

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Loneliness (Photo credit: Alex Abian (Also on flickr.com/alexabian))

When inherently social creatures (such as we Human Beings are -- at least for the most part) are encultured into an isolating or isolated lifestyle, certain needs are not normally met, certain compensatory actions and activities are undertaken, and some industries thrive on dealing with this increasing and pent-up demand. The lonely, telecommuting lifestyle changes behavioral outlets, but not the impulses (to connect, to touch, to commune, etc.) which underlie them. Those impulses are biochemically encoded into our DNA and hard-wired into our perception of life and mood.

Sometimes we crave the physical comfort of communication (or even the fantasy of Human interaction on any of a variety of psychological planes) so desperately that we will do virtually anything to fill that need. Remember the movie "Castaway," starring Tom Hanks? Do you recall his conversations with an inanimate basketball he came to name "Wilson?" A lonely man needed to feel that he could still speak and be heard -- Tom Hanks and the basketball were excellent in their respective roles

The article excerpt and link which follow appear courtesy of Truthout:

Capitalism and Loneliness: Why Pornography Is a Multibillion-Dollar Industry
Harriet Fraad and Tess Fraad-Wolff, Truthout: "Massive social changes in the US labor force and in commerce have transformed the economy and powerfully affected personal relationships. Since 1970, we have changed from being a society of people connected in groups of every kind to a society of people who are too often disconnected, detached and alienated from one another…. One is the loneliest number, and in their personal lives, Americans are increasingly alone."
Read the Article

We are, with very few intra-species exceptions, hard-wired to interact socially. To be heard. To listen. To be part of a living feedback loop. Excessive introspection and reflection might be interesting in terms of its meditative potential, but it also creates a detachment and from, and distorted perception of reality.

Part of the challenge is that our personalities are formed, enlivened and exercised through interaction with others who think somewhat independently of us. Without that interaction, exchange of information, basis of comparison and companionable (hopefully) dialog, we run the risk of being imprisoned inside of ourselves.

Being lonely is not unlike the notion of sensory deprivation. It deprives you are signalling. It deprives of stimulus. It distorts your perception of self and of the world as a whole as the deprived insular mind coils around itself like a serpent.

Douglas E. Castle

Friday, September 16, 2011

Relationship Strengthening Tools: The Acknowledgment.

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In acknowledging a colleague, a friend or a new contact acquired through diligent networking, we have an opportunity (although it may only last a few seconds) to strengthen and deepen the bonding between ourselves, and those we acknowledge. An acknowledgment is a brief greeting when either one or both of the parties is or are either in the midst of another conversation, or in the midst of rapid movement (i.e., rushing to a budget meeting, rushing to a luncheon appointment, or even rushing to a psychotherapist's office to receive treatment for Chronic Rushing Syndrome*). Both parties are usually (and unfortunately) at shouting distance (instead of speaking distance) from each other, but somehow make eye contact.

___________________
* I've invented "Chronic Rushing Syndrome" (not really a Lingovation, but more of a Slingovation [look this term up in Google], which is just pure invention instead of clever wordsmithing and word-melding).

The challenge is to get as much warmth, respect and familiarity across to the other person as possible without the advantage of words. A non-verbal challenge.

Optimize the moment by:

1) Stopping your action and facing the person;
2) Nodding your head (in the affirmative direction);
3) Smiling, and mouthing the word "Hello!);
4) Lifting an arm (encumbered or not) to extend a quick wave.
5) Mouthing the words, "I'll be speaking with you."

Resume your other activity, with the comfort of knowing that you have made a stellar impression. You'd be amazed at the power of the message you've sent (you've truly gone out of your way to pay that person some direct attention) with multiple signals through multiple channels. You'd be even more amazed at how well people can read lips from a great distance when a simple, friendly phrase is used.

Douglas E Castle

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If you have an interesting or important point of view regarding any aspect of communications -- we are absolutely to open to any topic relating to interpersonal or organizational communications, public speaking, the art of persuasion, better writing, or even such wondrous things such as subliminal and hypnotic messaging, multi-sensory communications, intuition, instinct, extrasensory perception (ESP) or the fast-evolving notion of the Collective Intelligence, SHARE if you CARE. You might just want to write for The Sending Signals Blog as a guest columnist! If you have something important to say, let it be said HERE where it will be read, and where you'll receive the attention and audience which you deserve.