Body Language: Feet Don't Lie!

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BODY TALK - FEET FIRST...

Non-verbal communication, much of which is body language, is more complex than many people think. Going a working knowledge of body communications requires learning about a number of different subsystems, some of which, at times, can seemingly be at conflict with each other. For example, certain finely-nuanced or internally-conflicted emotions can cause an individual to send seemingly conflicting or inscrutable body language.

Often, general facial expressions seem to conflict with the expression of the eyes. Just as often, an individual will cross his or her arms not out of hostility, but either to keep warm (in a cold room), or to signify self-protectiveness or fear, and not closed-mindedness, hostility or indifference.

To read someone well, you (as the interpreter or interrogator) must understand the subtleties of each of these body language subsystems, how they are integrated and balance each other, and which ones weigh more heavily (in terms of truth of expression) than others. Misreading body language can lead to some unfortunate impressions and some hapless self-fulfilling prophesies.

While the face reveals many of the key body language key clues, the rest of the body fills in the balance of the story. The starting point? The feet. Some experts at reading body language have hypothesized that the the feet are the most "honest" part of the body and really let you know how someone feels about you.

One theory as to why this might be true, is that people are not as self-conscious about the positioning and movement of their feet (unless they are either playing hopscotch, or are contestants of "Dancing With The Stars") as they are about other more ordinarily studied and discussed body parts and poses. The feet have a very direct connection to mood -- and this is not to be confused with the crossing and un-crossing of legs, which is actually governed by an entirely different non-verbal subsystem.

People tend to be unaware of the fact that their feet are communicating - as such, they tend not to simulate or disguise cues by consciously re-positioning their feet.

The "Feet Cue":

Whether you're sitting or standing, if a person's feet are pointed toward you, that's a signal that that individual is enjoying your company, interested in what you are saying and probably wants to focus his or her attention and time on you. It is an even more positive combination of cues when that person's feet are pointing directly toward you, and if they are slowly moving closer toward you to bridge the spacial gap between your bodies. But if the other persons' feet are angled away from you, odds are that he or she is not focused on either you or what you are saying, and is unintentionally signalling that he or she would prefer to be somewhere else.

At the risk of having my readers and friends groan, when it comes to body language, you might want to start at the bottom. [This could have been far worse...I was thinking about saying something along the lines of "...you've got to learn to accept de feet..." - I actually spared you].

Douglas E Castle for Sending Signals Blog

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