Note:This article was originally published on this blog under the title "Making Brilliant Introductions -- For Fun And Profit!"
There is both an art and a science to making brilliant introductions between two individuals whom you know, but who haven't yet met. If your do it properly, you'll have make some serious credibility, competence and social stature points with both parties, very much to your benefit. If you do it improperly (as most ordinary people are inclined to do -- these people are probably not readers of The Sending Signals Blog), you stand a good chance of ruining your relationships or at least reducing your stature in the eyes of two people.
Dos And Dont's:
1) Do not ever send an email to both parties wherein you quickly say something trite and obviously thoughtless (in the interest of expediency because you had more important things to do) like "I thought it would be great if you two got together. John is a baker and Jack owns the La Merde Grille. You've got each other's emails. John's phone number is 555-4343, and Jack's is 555-1090. You could both make a fortune working together." [they always use the 555 exchange on television]
2) Do not ever introduce two parties if you have not first asked for each party's permission and received it. This is true of all introductions. And while discreetly asking for each party's permission, briefly explain the relevance of the introduction by offering a quick summary of how the other person could "fit" in satisfying some interest or agenda objective of the person with whom you're speaking. I find it best to do this either in person, or by telephone. A good introduction, in most cases is worth getting both parties properly aligned and each feeling respected and honored at your thoughtfulness. If either party seems reluctant at all, do not pres the issue. Simply dismiss it by saying something along the lines of "That's perfectly fine. I was thinking of you, and I thought that ________ might be a good candidate for ______ with you. Should you change your mind, please let me know. Thanks. I'll speak with you soon." Never, ever push an introduction which either party is not at all enthused about pursuing.
3) If you are going to make the introduction by telephone, orchestrate a time, confirm with both parties, and set up a 3-way dial-in conference call, with an email confirmation to each party re-stating the time, the phone number and the access code. When you get on the call, make a polite introduction. For example, "Jack and John, I'm so glad that you were both able to find time for this conference. Jack; John is someone whom I've known ____________(etc). He's always been an excellent_______________. John: Jack is someone whom I've had the privilege of knowing for ______________years, and he has always been _______________________." After this, let the two parties converse, and just stay on the sidelines. Before the call is terminated, thank each party for making the time to participate in your conference. Don't force or press any issue, or give out phone numbers.
4) After making an introduction, wait several hours or a day, and phone each party to ask if the introduction was of help to him/her. Your role is over. If either party wants further information, they'll ask you. Never pester.
5) If you are introducing two people to each other in person (after you gotten the proper "go ahead" from both parties, bring them together, face-to-face, with one of your hands on each of the parties' shoulder or back as you face them sideways. It's a subtle gesture of uniting them, and it is a wonderfully implanted subconscious anchor. Make the same introductory speech as you would have made on the telephone call. Stay for a few moments and if the two appear to be hitting it off well, politely excuse yourself and go somewhere out of earshot. Later, thank each individually for being open to the introduction.
If you do this properly, you will be perceived (with credit to author Malcolm Gladwell who wrote "The Tipping Point") as an important connector, and as a "go-to" person. And you want to be a "go-to" person for introductions and for the development of your personal brand and your business. Don't take introductions or make introductions casually. They are important in making you important.
Douglas E. Castle
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